When an Apology Isn't an Apology

Today's post was inspired by Rush Limbaugh, this week's poster child for what every mother doesn't want her kid to grow up to be. Not the first time he's had the distinction, but this time, the radio talk show host illustrates an important point, or two: words can hurt, and sometimes an apology really isn't one at all.

If you haven't had enough yet of the ridiculous hoopla Limbaugh started by publicly berating a Georgetown law student advocating that birth control pills be included in employer health care coverage, here's what ABC news posted Saturday afternoon: http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/OTUS/rush-limbaugh-apologizes-calling-sandra-fluke-slut/story?id=15841687#.T1OwxMyeOGJ

The labels Limbaugh trumpeted so loudly and illogically* last week weren't impromptu or thoughtless. They were scripted. Just like the apology he issued on Sunday, which read in part, "My choice of words was not the best, and in the attempt to be humorous, I created a national stir. I sincerely apologize to Ms. Fluke for the insulting word choices." 

Sincerely? I doubt it. For a man who makes his living in words, this was a poor excuse for sincerity and if the apology was an attempt at wry humor, it failed in that regard, too. 

It's just like the clerk who says "yeh" or "there ya go" when the expression that's called for is "thank you." Sadly, Limbaugh makes boatloads of money for his caustic expressions. To further insult our intelligence or further his brand (redundant, come to think about it - insulting people an excellent way to characterize his brand) he went on to dismiss President Obama's call to Sandra Fluke as a way of checking "to make sure she's OK."

Yeh. There ya' go, Rush. Way to clear that up for the nation.

 *sometimes "zig-zag" is the best way to describe the radio host's thought process

DOH! Catholics Deserve Better PR

Newsflash: Homer and Bart Simpson are Catholic, according to the Vatican, yesterday.

Which begs the question, so what?

Media and religion analysts have stated it's an attempt to make Catholicism more relevant. The Vatican's press release further suggested The Simpsons is good family entertainment. And from there it grew even...less relevant.

Sorry, folks (especially Catholic folks) PR should do a lot better than that. Maybe the Vatican needs a refresher course in public relations. A list of do's and don't's or better yet, a "Doh!" list.  Here's mine:

• The conversation cited as "evidence" Homer and Bart are Catholic occurred in a 2005 episode. 

Doh! Any high school journalism student knows press releases are supposed to be confused with news. (News that's five years old is called recent history.)

• Homer and Bart talked about religion in general, and broached the subject of converting to Catholicism, but didn't. 

Doh! Jumping to the conclusion that they are now Catholic, based on a single scene in a single episode is called faulty logic. Or unclear evidence. Or a weak argument. Until now I thought the Vatican was really into fact-checking. Didn't it take the Catholic powers-that-be more than a few years to come to the conclusion that yes, in fact, the Holocaust actually happened and was a really, really bad thing?

• "Few people know it and he does everything to hide it but it is true: Homer J. Simpson is Catholic," according to the Vatican newspaper, L'Osservatore Romano. 

Doh! Repeat after me: it's OK to lead with a quote, if it's a really good quote. IF we're going to ignore the fact this little gem is five years old, IF we're going to buy the argument that the Simpsons are Catholic, and IF we're going to accept the idea that the Simpsons being Catholic is good or that it matters at all, can we at least get a better quote? IF I were considering converting because Homer and Bart did (if they did) well, sorry L'Osservatore, you lost me at "...he does everything to hide it..."

Hey, I'm all for churches using PR. And I believe (to some extent) that "any publicity is good publicity." Unfortunately, this isn't. It's getting lots of airplay but none that really furthers the faith, good news, thoughtful dialog about religion. In other words, doh!

I'd love to see an effective PR effort  - like (pick a denomination) saying "God said meet me on Facebook!" or something even more relevant. Facebook may have had its 15 minutes...but the Simpsons,  converting to Catholicism? That's so 2005.

Recommended reading: Anything by David Ogilvy, a dead guy who's still relevant, or about him, like this:
http://www.copyblogger.com/the-david-ogilvy-playbook-for-business-blogging/