Wasted Writing: When the Offer isn't Worth the Ink

Personally, I have never been asked by a client to create a "worthless" e-mail campaign, Facebook offer, or other ad copy that isn't worth the ink. If I ever am, I think - and I hope - I'll be tough enough to reply, "is that the best you've got?"

Some campaigns (sorry, Starbucks) really aren't worth bothering customers about. The ads amount to worse than wasted time and money for the company. They also add to the general clutter of our collective consciousness and increase the likelihood that "subscribers" (and some firms use that term very loosely - are you listening, Viacom?) will just hit delete.

Case in point: Starbucks rewards card e-mail campaign, July 18-22
The "big news" was that the retail stores are reinstating the "Treat Receipt" offer. How big is it? You decide:

Bring your morning receipt in after 2 p.m. at participating stores and we'll serve you up a cold grande beverage for just $2.

Yep, that was the lead offer. The only offer, in fact - followed by seven (7!) advertisements, none of which included money-savings offers.

I'm not sure how these things get through multiple marketing department decision makers. I like to think I would have spoken up in the corporate boardroom and said, hey, now that there's a Starbucks on almost every corner and penny-pinching is everybody's new favorite hobby, offers need to be a lot more attractive than "spend disposable income here twice in one day and save a buck."

Maybe they wouldn't have listened to me. I hope my clients will.

- - - - - - - - next: Make sure your communications have operational back-up - - - - - - - - 

Need a writer who speaks her mind - even if it upsets the apple cart? I never lose sight of my customer service and marketing background, and believe it's my job as a writer to make sure your message is the best it can be. I don't waste your ink or your time, and I do everything I can to give your customers and prospects something worth reading. Contact me for a free consultation.

Dear Governor-elect Kasich: Call me next time

File this under writer as image consultant:

About 8 hours after every newspaper and website in Ohio (and quite a few outside the state) broke stories about governor-elect John Kasich's edict excluding the media from his inauguration, the guv reversed his decision. 

And that was the right decision. But. There's always a but - and a good writer knows what to do with it. 

Because Kasich intended to hold the inauguration at his private residence, rather than the governor's mansion, there were undoubtedly many important issues (security) that may- just may- have warranted the closed ceremony.

Had he handled the message a little (okay a lot) differently, Mr-about-to-be Governor could have not only kept the media at bay, but won (more) friends and influenced (more) people at the same time. For example, how 'bout a press release stating, "These are dire times for Ohio; our budget is severely strained. Because of this, I cannot justify the expenditure required to hold a traditional, large, very public inauguration ceremony. The (show big dollar amount here) savings will go directly to the state's bottom line, and in doing so, I hope to show every other state worker I mean business."  

It certainly would have given me a different perspective on things. As it is, I'm just left wondering, what's this guy's real agenda? Of course, we would have wanted the media to verify the dollar-savings claim, but as long as it was legit, Kasich would have gotten his private inauguration and had the attention of the entire state when he got to work on Monday.*

The words you choose can set the tone for everything. Much as I hate to put it in these terms, I'm afraid it's appropriate in this case: Media 1, Kasich 0. (Mr. Kasich, feel free to call me.)

*John Kasich gets to work as Ohio's governor January 10, 2011

The Book I Want to See

I'd love to see a book written by, or heavily packed with interviews from, the '08 presidential candidates' speechwriters. Specifically, the ones who had to write the candidates' acceptance AND concession speeches.

Crafting either must require a blend of skills employed in both fiction and non-fiction. Imagine your candidate wins: the acceptance speech should be worthy of a page or two in the history books; it must address joyous supports and angry detractors from the other guy's camp; and it must set the tone for the next four years, at least.

No pressure.

Oh, and when you finish that, could you spend a few minutes drafting a just-in-case-I-lose speech?

HA.

Top-level speechwriters in both campaigns probably began their drafts in May, if not before the spring primaries.

I'd sure like to find out how they did it, how much the candidates themselves contributed to the process, and how far McCain and Obama veered from the written document in their live addresses Tuesday night.

Pssst...I'll write it! Simon & Schuster, are you listening?