Writer's Petition: On Using Language for Good

I'm big on old-fashioned government. Writing elected officials. Collecting signatures and carrying thoughtful petitions into city hall. Standing up and speaking my mind (cordially) at board meetings.

I did not sign this online petition, because I really doubt that signatures on it matter much.

I am sharing it here and asking you to consider that presidential hopeful who uses language as a most powerful tool. Not necessarily for good.

A politician angles to get a job through what is essentially a popularity contest. When a politician wins that contest, then he or she is not a prom king or queen, but a LEADER. Those are two distinct job descriptions. In both roles, using language expertly is crucial to the job. Otherwise, there's not a lot of overlap between those two things - politician and leader.

So an iPetition slugged "Writers on Trump" is going around on Facebook. Sign it and share it if you think it could make a difference. More importantly, please, before you vote, think about language and how a leader should communicate. 

< steps off soapbox >

Throw-back Thoughts and Resolutions

In the past I've been pretty serious about making New Year's resolutions. Some might say I'm superstitious; others may have called me paranoid. I prefer to say I've followed my (rather long) list of rules about making New Year's resolutions just to be "careful." Then one night, I saw the light.

Actually, I almost didn't.

At a friend's New Year's party I ducked into the bathroom just before midnight, to freshen up - and to further consider the resolution I'd make for the new year.

It's a process I don't take lightly. I start thinking about New Year's resolutions early, sometimes before Labor Day. No, I'm not kidding.

How to Make Outstanding New Year's Resolutions

Of course I have rules about this ritual! Among my (many) rules for making New Year's resolutions:

1. Just make one resolution - too many can be daunting.

2. Make it a good one. Hence, these many rules...

3. Keep it positive. Resolve to do something, not to not do something. In other words "eat more fresh vegetables" is better than "don't eat sweets."

4. Don't tell anyone your resolution until after midnight. Remember, it's your resolution. Share it too early and someone might try to talk you out of it.

5. Aim for a realistic change. "Run a marathon" might be realistic for some people, but "walk around the block once a week" is probably a good resolution for others. (You know who you are.)

6. Be specific. "Learn to crochet" is nice, but "crochet scarves for the homeless" is nice and specific.

7. Be vague enough to allow the resolution to expand in scope, if you want it to. If you resolve to "buy local," for example, you may start with a single item and by the end of the year, you'll probably have discovered many things you can get from within your own zip code.

8. Resolve to improve the world. Sure, it's your New Year's resolution, but why be selfish? If we all considered the impact of our New Year's resolutions, imagine what kind of world this might be....

I was testing a few possible resolutions against these rules while I fluffed my hair and reapplied lipstick and....jammed the door lock.

Seriously Stuck on Resolutions

While I'd been stuck figuratively for days, ruminating about my oh-so-serious resolutions - compost to save the planet and local water table or teach my kids a foreign language, thus raising globally aware citizens? - now I was stuck, literally.

I searched frantically (having never resolved to not snoop in a friend's bathroom; see rule number 3) for a nail file, bobby pin, handgun, anything to free myself. Nada. I pounded on the door. More. Louder.

"Hey guys," I called. "Can you open this door?"

Nothing.

The countdown began.

New Year's Disaster Averted

I panicked, shouted again, and kicked the door, finally overwhelming the lock with my seriousness. Nothing would stand between me and my resolution, which I was not about to make in the bathroom. (I should have a rule about that.)

Unfortunately, the incident robbed me of the necessary time to reflect and decide, finally, which life-changing resolution to adopt.

Cheers. Champagne kisses. Auld Lang Syne.

My husband, who has never agreed with my philosophy on the importance of resolutions, braced for the worst when a poor unsuspecting acquaintance asked, "did you make any resolutions?"

"Not to lock myself in the bathroom!" was what I blurted out.

We all laughed. Only I knew what a life-changer that was.

# #

~Diane Stresing

Originally published in December 2010 on the now-defunct Yahoo! voices channel, I'm still working through my feelings about New Year's Resolutions, and Auld Lang Syne, for that matter. This essay was originally titled, "Resolve to Lock in More Fun This Year." Which, no matter what year it is, sounds like a pretty good resolution. Cheers! 

Board Games and Web Content Games

If you've been following this blog recently, you've noticed that I've archived several articles from the now-defunct Yahoo! voices channel. I've written about web content "gaming" before, and - heaven help me - I probably will again. So, in addition to archiving this 2009 article, I think this slice of history provides a good example of evergreen content that can be used to build traffic to a site or several sites. And, if you like family board games, I think you'll also find it's still pretty darned useful. 

Active Games for Multi-Age Players 
Over the years we've collected a great bunch of games for a wide age group - games that can be played inside, outside, and some, inside and outside. I'll list of some of our family favorites below, but first let me tell you how I pick games.

I only buy games that: 

• can be played quickly 
• can be played by multiple ages 
• are sturdy, durable, and 
• are not dangerous 

If you've ever refereed a fight between a 5 year old boy and a 13 year old girl, you know why I have to pick toys that are not dangerous!

One other thing about these games - they tend to encourage kids to get active and get moving. I love books, card games, and lots of board games (our family favorites are Apples to Apples Jr. and good old fashioned Yahtzee ) but when playing games, we most enjoy engaging our bodies as well as our minds. Without further ado, here are my/my family's favorite games:

Indoor Games
While we can happily play Balderdash (with the older kids) and Apples to Apples for hours, these indoor games are a little more active and well suited for a broader age range.

Cosmic Catch, under $20, may not be cosmic, but it sure is a great twist on catch. Players wear elastic colored bands on their hands and then try to toss the ball around the group according to what the ball says. Yes, it's a talking ball. It's also a great game for almost all ages (3 and up, I'd say) and a "codebreaker" mode adds a little more thinking challenge to the game, good for older kids. (And adults, who should remember, this is not a drinking game!)

Carpet Bocce, under $20, is a great indoor game as long as you have a carpeted area big enough to play on. (Oh - and no shag carpet!) The small plastic disks slide easily along the carpet, and rules are just like outdoor bocce ball.

Scrabble Slam!, under $10, is not really active, however, it is a little more so than the average card game and a good bit more exciting than traditional Scrabble. The object? Players race against each other to build and change four-letter words - first one out of cards wins. Yes, it is pretty darned educational for early elementary school age children, and fun for all.

Outdoor Games
Besides Badminton, bocce, and good-old-fashioned games of catch, here are a couple of newer games in our backyard:

Blongo Ball is also known as ladder golf. Blongo Ball consists of two three-rung ladder-like structures and six ball/rope throwing thingees, which sort of remind me of nunchucks. The object is to get your balls to hang over one of the rungs, the lower the better (the top rung counts as one point, the second as two points, the third three). My Kentucky cousins introduced me to the game, and I was hooked. Their homemade game set was different from my store-bought game in one important way - my cousins used tennis balls; some of the store-bought versions use golf balls. Golf balls are hard! So, we only play this game when I can supervise my five year old. 'Nuff said.

Cornhole, $100 and up, is a craze, at least in most parts of the Midwest, but I dare say it's a craze that's here to stay. Often likened to Horseshoes, it's actually much easier. My five-year-old loves it; we just modify the game for him (and other short kids that turn up in our backyard) by letting him stand close to the board. We also modify the scoring, which can be a bit complicated for those new to addition/subtraction. We simply score one point for each bean bag that lands (and stays) on the board, and three for any that fall in the hole. If you're crafty you can make your own game (CornholeCornhole.com has a nice set of plans) but I bought a waterproof, plastic game instead. A final word about ladder golf and cornhole games: they can be rather addicting, as you'll see in thisforum for tossing games.

OK, speaking of addicting games, here are some of my favorite spots to find good family games - these sites generally offer lots of active, creative, and fun games for all ages, and for the most part, they're also reasonably priced.

FatBrainToys
GameOutfitter
Kazoo Toys (visit 'em in Denver)
ToyScamp

Now let the games begin! And remember, as we say at our house, it doesn't matter whether you win or lose, what matters is that you don't kill your siblings - and that you have fun playing the game!

Cleveland Hiking Trails for All Interests, Abilities

Ask and most people will say they like hiking, and they want to do more of it. But when? And where? By the time you find hiking trails in your area, you might find you're out of time to hike! Time constraints affect us all and hiking is like everything else: if you're going to do it, you need to find the time. To help you plan a hike near you, select from the best local hiking trails to suit your interests. Get started with this list of trail treasures in Greater Cleveland and Northeast Ohio.

East of the river 

(The Cuyahoga River, that is - which has long been the unofficial dividing line between East- and West-siders.)

Hiking with kids?

During the summer months, hit the beach! Fairport Harbor Lakefront Beach Park, a Lake County Metroparks property, has family-friendly appeal thanks to its sandy beach, seasonal canoe/kayak rentals, and food concessions. Hikers can traverse an approximately 1.5 mile loop on a variety of surfaces - some sidewalk, some sand, some dirt trails - almost all of which offers lakefront views. Bonus: visit the Fairport Harbor lighthouse museum, and if your kids like ghost stories, be sure to ask about the cat.

For beautiful scenery:

Tucked inside Bedford Reservation, not far from the I-271/Forbes exit, hikers can gasp (and take great photos) at Ohio's "grandest canyon." Trail terrain varies, from paved all-purpose trails to mulch-covered bridle paths and quite a few stairs. Gorge Parkway Trail is more than 6 miles long, and hikers are rewarded with views of gorgeous Bridal Veil Falls, but there's good news for less-ambitious hikers: you can park right by Gorge Overlook and enjoy the view just a few steps from your car.

Wheelchair/stroller accessibility:

The Gorge Overlook at Bedford Reservation can be accessed by most sturdy strollers and some wheelchairs.

West of the river

Hiking with kids?

Every Cleveland family should be required to visit Rocky River Reservation, if only to get a look at the life-size fossil replica of the Terrible Fish, Dunkleosteous, displayed inside the Nature Center. Bonus: a short loop hike around the nature center offers great views of Rocky River, and decent aerobic exercise thanks to a 100-foot climb to the top of the stairs.

For beautiful scenery:

Rocky River is hard to beat, but for totally different terrain, visit Findley Lake State Park, which boasts 16 miles of rustic trails, including a fair portion of the Buckeye Trail. Like to walk and roll? Mountain bikes are permitted on some trails at the park.

Wheelchair/stroller accessibility:

Try an urban jaunt, rolling on sidewalks along Oberlin's historic streets, and find out why some call it 'the town that started the Civil War.'

Southern edge of Cuyahoga Valley National Park

Hiking with kids?

Visit Park Place on State Route 303 in Peninsula. Yes, it's a gift shop, but it's more. As the park's newest visitor center, it's full of fun, educational activities. From there you can stroll along the Towpath (up to 40 miles, if your clan has the stamina) or just enjoy walking on the sidewalks through Peninsula's thriving restaurant/shopping district. Both the sidewalks and Towpath are accessible by most wheelchairs and strollers.

For beautiful scenery: 

It's hard to beat Bath Nature Preserve, located off North Cleveland-Massilion Road. The paved North Fork Trail zips north and south through the property, with half-a-dozen rustic footpaths leading hikers east and west through several environmental habitats. Beautiful seasonal wildflowers make great backdrops for family photos. (Please, remember: 'Take only pictures, leave only footprints.')

The bottom line:

Just go! Hiking is a fun, free, healthful activity that benefits almost everybody. Cleveland's trails offer points of interest for nature lovers, photographers, history buffs, architecture aficionados, just about everyone. Sure, you can buy expensive hiking boots and other gear, but you don't have to. In Cleveland, you can hike for many enjoyable miles in a pair of sturdy, comfortable shoes. So, go! Take a hike, right here in Cleveland!

~-~ ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ ~-~

This  article was originally published in 2011 in Yahoo! Voices, a now-defunct channel of the Yahoo.com family of websites and other experiments. Surprisingly, my byline hasn't changed a lot since then. (I'm sure I haven't either.)  - - - - -  Diane Stresing is a commercial freelance writer and the author of 60 Hikes Within 60 Miles of Cleveland. She admits it's hard to find time for hiking and biking on Cleveland-area trails during her kids' soccer seasons. For the latest trail news and more pictures of Ohio's gorgeous scenery, visit the book's Facebook fan page. 

LeBron Looks Good on Paper

This is personal. It's my response to a letter LeBron wrote to me.

OK, he didn't really address it and lick the envelop himself. Of course I'm referring to the "letter" he dictated to Sports Illustrated's Lee Jenkins.

His words won me over. And I wasn't exactly rolling out the red carpet last week, or anytime, since his rather overblown decision a few years back.

While Cleveland columnists spent oodles of time last week screaming "COME HOME, ALL IS FORGIVEN" I tweeted twice about the dude's contract options and made a rather concerted effort not to care because, hey, why should I? I'll never meet the guy, let alone know him, and in 10 years they'll be another "King." Insert eye-roll here. I'm just not into celebrities, and don't get me started on the absurdity that is pay scale in professional sports.

But that letter was really nice. If he means half of it, I'll join the chorus. Welcome home, LeBron. If you really are back to live YOUR dream - of being a better man in Northeast Ohio, well, more power to you. (If that's even possible.)

What won me over? The overall tone was good. You sound more accessible than you used to. And this part in particular, I really like:

"I feel my calling here goes above basketball. I have a responsibility to lead, in more ways than one, and I take that very seriously."

I believe words can make a difference, like you apparently believe gestures can. So, OK: You show little boys and girls in NE Ohio that "making it big" doesn't necessarily mean leaving town. I'll be hoping you live up to those - and other- promising words in your letter.

A championship, plus a little respect for my adopted hometown, would be a terrific bonus.

Signed,

A somewhat reluctant, newfound-again fan 

PS: I hope you'll be #23 again. My son kept his jersey, and he's almost grown into it. So let's do this!

We're all writers so read this before sharing on Facebook (or anywhere else)

This is something of a public service announcement. If you use Facebook, please invest a little bit of time into understanding the basic functionality of its privacy settings. Also set aside a few minutes every couple of weeks to review them, as they change frequently and frankly, you may not fully understand that by clicking on something, you can change your own settings quite unintentionally.

For example, I have changed my own posting/privacy settings multiple times and for various reasons (some I understand, others not so much) they have changed back, or changed again.

Here's an example: it's extremely easy to set your status-posting setting to "private" - which means, of course, it's not private at all, but shared with all your friends.  It's also very easy to change your status setting to "public," which means it's really public, out there for anyone to see, like, forever, or until you delete it.

Ok. Those of you who are Facebook gurus know exactly how these things work. And you can still make mistakes.

What's worse, a disturbing lot of you are thinking, well, I don't use Facebook enough to worry about all that or I don't have time to mess around with all those settings and to you I say, yes you do.

If you use Facebook at all then you should learn how to use the privacy settings to your advantage, and be vigilant about understanding the changes. And there are always changes!

It doesn't take that long to learn the ropes, and Facebook has helpful "help" pages that explain things well. Use them. Don't take the advice of post-of-a-repost on one of your friend's friends' walls. Go directly to the current Facebook help page and learn how to do it.

I manage Facebook pages for nearly a dozen businesses and organizations (and my own book!! < that's a plug) and I assure you that if I can screw up a "simple" privacy setting, you can too. Shame on all of us who don't take the time to learn how to use them properly.

Lecture over! Class dismissed! Thanks for reading!

Writing Essays for College Applications: Advice I've overheard, part 1

I've found myself hanging out in college admissions offices recently, and have picked up some juicy tidbits about the essay-writing (or more accurately, reviewing) process that I'd like to pass along.

First, in case you're even newer to this process than I am, here are a few things it's helpful to know before you begin applying to colleges and universities:

1. Some applications require the applicants write on a particular topic, some just want a general "getting-to-know-you" essay. If you're applying to several schools, write on the prescribed topics first. Assuming you write several essays on prescribed topics, you can submit your best piece to the schools that leave the topic up to the applicant.
2. Longer is NOT better. One college admissions employee told me in confidence that many are merely skimmed for grammar and construction. "But not in my office," she added. Of course.
3. Obviously, that also means grammar and construction are critical. Of course. 

More to come... 
FroshMonster is a website in beta as of April 2013. Its goal is to help high school students more "easily manage the complex process of selecting, applying, and getting into college." Students who sign up now will be alerted to new features as they become available. 
(Thanks to Mary R. for the tip!) 

    

In the meantime, it should go without saying* that if you're concerned your student's writing skills aren't won't measure up to college admissions standards, writing or heavily editing an essay for your student is a HUGE no-no. And while help for writing college essays abounds** more important in the long-run is, a college student should know how to write. Well. Before he or she gets into college.

~Diane Stresing

*but people who blog are compelled to say such things anyway!
** I'm partial to the tip sheet US News published a few years ago.  

Business Professionals Know When to Quit

This is personal. It's about Very Important people who work on Very Important projects and assume that because they're working now, you should be too. Anyone come to mind? Someone who, say, demands a colleague's feedback at 8pm on a Powerpoint presentation that he finished at 5:30pm?

I understand the "rules" of business engagement have changed now that we all carry cell phones and can reach business associates 24/7. My opinion: because we can does not mean that we should.

While employment case law from California to Connecticut is piling up, I suspect it will be several years before the courts arrive at a standard of compensation for FLSA-exempt and non-exempt employees who are expected to make or take calls outside of "regular" business hours. (Although Brazil beat the US to it, chances are one good class-action suit will speed things up here in the states.) In the meantime, I propose a little good old-fashioned common sense.

1. Try to remember that a paycheck rewards an employee for a job. It does not actually buy the employee. In other words, in every 24-hour period, there should be at least 12 hours when the employee is free of work. Including the projects the VP of Self-Importance is working on.

2. Don't underestimate the power of passive-aggressive behavior. If you are demanding and expect colleagues to drop everything for you and your oh-so important project, don't be surprised if their cooperation drops off and business recommendations are not forthcoming.

3. Read the obituaries. Notice that people die daily. If you want your colleagues to attend your funeral and say nice thing about you one day when it's your turn, perhaps you should reconsider the importance of that Powerpoint presentation.

Call me crazy: I like to think we've evolved to the point that a person can have a job, a cell phone, and a life.

------

What got me started? A demanding customer who called our home phone after leaving a voicemail on the work cell phone, which was turned off. (Hint, hint.) Said customer was not only Very Important, he was obviously Special. In his own estimation. This is why I practice Jedi mind tricks in my spare time. I do hope he calls again. I could use some more practice.

Because They Always Ask

                What's the difference between

    a walk and a hike?

  

In the dictionary,      

               hike                      follows                 hijack.

That makes sense               because you can walk          almost anywhere     but        

 a hike takes you 

        somewhere        

                                                    figuratively
and literally.

                       You can turn any walk

                                                                  into a hike

by hijacking your attitude

                                          by simply changing your mind.

                 And, hiking improves your mind.

                (Seriously. There have been studies.)

What’s the difference between a walk and a hike?

                                  Walking is a mode of transportation.

     

                                                          Hiking is a mode of exploration.

   So ... take a hike.    

And see where it takes you.

~~~ Why not grab a local hiking guidebook, 

            and see where the trails take you?

http://alturl.com/wict3

Good Sports Don't Lie

This is personal. It's about sport and celebrity and connotation and denotation.

In short, my advice is to know the difference.

Lance Armstrong is a celebrity, has been for a long time, and most of the thinking public figured out long ago that he was lying. And then they quit caring. Lance Armstrong is a celebrity. Sport was his vehicle to fame.

The same might be said for young Mr. Te'o, Notre Dame's celebrated (and many would argue, deliberately generated) Heisman Trophy runner-up.

And the same might be said about countless baseball heroes who stave off accusations of steroid use only to eventually admit it and then sometimes, cloak their big bicepped-selves in righteous indignation. File under Too Big for your Britches.

They are celebrities. They are not sports heroes. Sports heroes don't do that s#_+.

I'm sorry to say that I can't point to a sports hero with a name you'd recognize. But I know who my heroes are.

They're the coaches and players who do what they do (work hard, have fun) for the love of the game and respect the rules - why? because doing so adds a wonderful, thrilling, joyful dimension to life. They do what they do in spite of the coaches and players who are in it for some sort of screwed-up version of sports-self-importance. They do it in spite of the athletes and teammates whom we celebrate too often for their bullying flair. (Too bad we weren't quite ready to listen to Floyd Landis in 2010.)

Some of my sports heroes aren't players or coaches. They're the fans who attend the game, meet, or match, regardless of the weather; who cheer and smile, regardless of the score. Who smile even when they complain about the referee's stupid call. Because they get it. Sports - yes, even competitive sports - are supposed to be fun. They should add joy and spirit to life. They should be honest.

Isn't that what good sportsmanship is all about? That's a connotation, not a denotation, I suppose. Whatever you call it, that's my understanding. If yours is different, I welcome your comments.

Future sports heroes? I hope so.

~ Diane Stresing

Writing off Facebook

Ever hit enter and say, "whoops?" Or felt hoodwinked by one of Facebook's oft-changing rules?

Yeh, me either.

But seriously, folks, there's a stunningly simple way to avoid those online blunders. Pick up a pen and put it to paper. Good old-fashioned journals are cheap and far more private. 

Here's something else to think about: you might have to learn to live without Facebook as your emotional outlet in 2013. At least one industry pundit says it's toast. 

Look, you can do whatever you want - but journals are cheap and I could use some practice in the handwriting department.

More reasons to revive old-fashioned journals in 2013

Ever been tempted to lie on Facebook? 
When you twist the truth in your journal, we call it "creative writing."

Embarrassing misspellings won't be shared with the world.

If you want to share, you can. This falls under the purview of the 24-hour rule, one of my favorite aunt's best pieces of advice. As in, if you still want to post it on your Facebook wall 24 hours after you've written it in your journal, you can.

Feel like you just have to share? Then by all means, do. Please, start with a link to this blog ;D

~Diane Stresing

 Peter Walsh you.organized College-Ruled Leather Journal, Gray w/Gray (Google Affiliate Ad)


 Geek journal (Google Affiliate Ad)

If You Write it, it's Right Enough

I have some very unprofessional advice for you. (My friend Sherry's gonna love it.)

Write something to someone for Christmas. Don't wait for inspiration to strike, and don't sit on it until it's perfect. Just write it. 

This year has been too full of reminders that we’re all going to die someday. I have a strong suspicion that most people leave things unsaid. Undone. Unwritten.

Don’t be that guy.

I don’t mean to suggest that you hide behind your keyboard for the next three years typing the next great American novel. This "assignment" is different. If you’ve ever thought about writing something nice to a child, spouse, parent, teacher, dear friend, or cousin, but stopped because you weren’t exactly sure what to say or how to say it, just say (or write) it. Now. 

Perfect - even if it isn't perfect. 

I know it sounds really simple, but you can’t do it until you get out of your way. Here’s how: Give yourself permission to do it less than perfectly.

When you’re gone, and – let’s not be morose! – long before that, the recipient of your words will appreciate your thoughts and that you cared enough to write them down. And while I can’t offer a money-back guarantee on this, I’m pretty sure they won’t even think about correcting your grammar or punctuation.

See, sometimes it really is the thought that counts. Sherry Richert Belul, my aforementioned friend and the author of Simply Celebrate, encourages her clients to create Love Lists for all occasions. Sure, Christmastime seems like a good one; but in fact Tuesday is good enough, too. Any occasion is a good time to make a Love List, or just write a few nice words to someone you love. 

Photos courtesy of www.simplycelebrate.net

For several years, I let nearly a ton of pictures gather dust in the “craft room,” all the while promising myself I was going to make Beautiful Keepsake Scrapbooks for my daughter. I’m not crafty, though, and I’m reallllly good at procrastinating, so a few more years went by before I finally gave myself permission to make Just OK scrapbooks. Being a writer, I added a few notes along the way. Being a writer, I should've done a better job on those notes. I could've crafted them into a story format, or at least made them neater, nicer, and more organized. 

But when I gave the books to my daughter, she didn’t say, “Wow mom, you could use some practice on scrapbooking, huh?” 

Instead she cried and hugged me. She said she loved the scrapbooks - and I’m not even dead yet. They might mean more then. But I digress. The point is, it’s easy to use “I’m not sure what… or how…” as an excuse.

Look, this time, you’re not preparing a manuscript for publication. You’re not sending a report to the boss. You’re writing a few loving words to another person. Your words don’t have to be perfect, but they do have to be written (or at least spoken) to be given away.

If you die with the words inside you, don’t blame me. 

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some very mediocre scrapbooks to finish for my son.

~Diane Stresing

Pucker up and remember

This is personal. It's about pickles, and perception.

When I was young, my mom made refrigerator pickles, all the time. We loved to eat them. Opening the refrigerator and grabbing a forkful of the sweet, tangy cucumber slices on a hot day, particularly after having roasted and splashed away the afternoon at Mt. Air Swimming Pool, defined summer.

Or maybe not.

Proof! That's my mom's handwriting on the recipe.

40 or so years after this memory was recorded, I found out I'm the only one in my family who remembers "refrigerator pickles." 

But we ate them all the time. Every day, we'd come home from the swimming pool and ...

"I'm sorry. I don't remember them," my dad told me.

"Well mom will," I replied rather haughtily.

She didn't.

And so I came face-to-face with the revolting fact that some memories are invented, or at least embellished. My memories. It was so disconcerting I decided to quit thinking about it.

At least I have the recipe for those pickles, and mom's kind assurances that yes, she probably made them more than once.

Manufacturing Memories

In an effort to recover from the jolt of realizing my sweet memories may be more pixie dust than pickles, I've made those pickles three times this summer already. I'll make them again, too, because they're every bit as good as I remember. Or at least I think they are.

To set the record straight, I should point out that they're not even real pickles. They're "Pickled Cucumbers." (The injuries continue.) Now when I crunch them, made-up memories swirl in my head with nagging little questions. Questions like, what kind of memories will my kids have 40-odd years from now? I hope they're sweet and tangy, like mine. Even if they're mixed up with a little imagination.

Most moms I know beat themselves up frequently because they're not providing their kids with the idyllic childhoods they (the moms) remember.

But what if the recipe for a delicious, tangy childhood is really easy? What if it's based on selectively embellished memories? Wouldn't that be a relief?

Sweet Hope

Maybe the reason I don't remember my mom griping about driving back and forth to the pool and everywhere else my friends and I wanted to go is because she didn't complain. But I doubt it. Do you know any moms who don't complain about the driving and other humdrum tasks that comprise summer activities? Maybe I don't remember Mom's complaints because the pickles and a few other sweetly embellished memories (however inaccurate) crowded out the everyday grumbling.

The idea gives me hope. Maybe my kids will remember me as a little sweeter than I really am, and my cooking as a little better than it is. I sure hope so.

For posterity, then, here's the recipe that inspired my somewhat inaccurate but quite idyllic summer memory. In case you're wondering, my kids didn't exactly love these at first bite. But I'm hoping they remember these pickles - or something else, whether I actually made it or not - as the absolutely perfect summer treat.

Pickled Cucumbers with Dill

1/2 cup vinegar

1/4 cup sugar

2 tablespoons water

1/2 teaspoon salt

dash pepper

2 medium cucumbers

2 tablespoons fresh dill

Combine vinegar, sugar, water, salt and pepper in a saucepan. While you bring it to a boil, use a vegetable peeler or sharp knife to remove strips of peel lengthwise from cucumbers, leaving alternate strips of peel intact. Slice cucumbers and place in bowl. Add vinegar mixture. Sprinkle with dill. Toss gently. Cover and chill at least two hours. Add memories and enjoy. 

~Diane Stresing

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This personal essay is included in Dumb Things We Say to Dogs. A much more scientific explanation about how memories are distorted and invented can be found on PsyBlog.